By Kim W.
Have you ever looked at your relationship with your husband and blamed any problems that you have on your husband...or have you blamed it all on your marriage? I have heard wives and husbands say they have marriage problems...as if the marriage itself is at fault or the marriage created the problems. Doesn't this way of thinking completely take our own responsibility out of the equation so we can just go on thinking that the problems we have are someone's (our husband's) or something's (our bad marriage's) fault? God wants us to think and see this differently. How do we, as women striving to be godly wives, think Biblically about this? I have found some great help from Dave Harvey's book, When Sinners Say I Do.
Dave Harvey says this:
What if you abandoned the idea that the problems and weaknesses in your marriage are caused by a lack of information, dedication, or communication? What if you saw your problems as they truly are: caused by a war within your own heart?
Paul says in 1 Timothy 1:15-16: "The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display His perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in Him for eternal life."
Dave Harvey continues later in his book with this statement:
We make limp justifications for our sinful behavior, and our marriage conflicts end, at best, in uneasy, partial, negotiated settlements. But once I find 1 Timothy 1:15-16 trustworthy--once I can embrace it with full acceptance--once I know that I am indeed the worst of sinners, then my spouse is no longer my biggest problem: I am. And when I find myself walking in the shoes of the worst of sinners, I will make every effort to grant my spouse the same lavish grace that God granted me.
I think that most of us have the desire for our marriage to look more and more like the picture God wants to display to a lost world...a picture of grace, forgiveness, and true self-sacrificing love. As we seek to embrace this Biblical view and live it out in our marriages, others see the example and God is glorified. But, as Dave Harvey says, “Until sin be bitter, marriage may not be sweet.”
John Owen says there are 2 things that humble the souls of men: "a due consideration of God, and then of ourselves. Of God in His greatness, glory, holiness, power, majesty, and authority; of ourselves in our mean, abject, and sinful condition."
Walking this road of humility is provided by God for us as we give due consideration to who God is and who we truly are. I want to walk this road of humility, don't you?
