If I had seen this book in the Christian bookstore I probably would have passed right by. The misuse of affirmation by the self -esteem movement would have made me skeptical as to its contents. But what caught my eye on the cover of this book was that the forward was by John Piper. Being encouraged and challenged in much of my thinking by John Piper’s writings, I wondered what a biblical study of affirmation might look like. What a joy this book has been to me!Crabtree begins this book by clarifying what he means by affirmation:
Good affirmations are God centered, pointing to the image of God in a person. The only commendable attributes in people were given to them. Everything is from God, through God, and to God so that in all things – including the commendable qualities in people – He might get the glory.
Practicing Affirmation is a book that calls us to look for the grace of God in other people, and then bring glory to Him by affirming His work.
Just as the heavens are declaring the glory of God, if only we have eyes to see it, when we commend the character of a person, we are also pointing to the glory of God from which that character is derived – if we have eyes to see it.
Don’t miss that little phrase: if we have eyes to see it.
Being able to affirm someone for the grace that you see in their life is not an easy task. You must know people on a level that is deeper than the surface. You must begin to watch and think about people in a whole new light. Instead of focusing on the things that might “bug” you about a person, you begin to look for growth in holiness and desire for goodness in people.
Crabtree describes affirmation as the key to refreshing relationships:
When I speak of affirmations as the key, hear this: It is not the most important aspect of a relationship. For example, in a parenting relationship affirmation is not the most important thing parents will do for their children. There are things like feeding them, inoculating them, teaching them the Bible. But without affirmation, well-fed, well-inoculated, well-instructed children may tune out their parents and their well-intended instruction – especially their instruction.
His practical advice is a refreshing reminder of the power of seeing others as a reflection of God’s grace. This book is full of illustrations and applications that apply to the workplace, to marriage, to parenting, to friendships, and to ministry.
Crabtree says:
I am not talking about mere pep talks, trying to psyche somebody up with feel-happy-stay-happy, you-can-do-anything cheerleading. Our aim is to build up others in Christlikeness as God gives grace, especially affirming the transforming work that God is doing in them as they abide in Christ by faith.
Writing a book on affirmation is no easy task. Crabtree does an excellent job of answering the questions that begin to form in our minds as we think about affirming other people. What about the danger of encouraging someone’s craving for human praise? What about unbelievers who are not being renewed to the image of their Creator? Do we praise them? Does practicing affirmation mean that you are easy on sin? Crabtree thoroughly examines this issue of affirmation and the pitfalls that ensue.
This book has reminded me what a vital place affirmation plays in encouraging others and building them up in the faith. As we grow as a body I believers, I pray that we would bring glory to God by affirming His work in each other.
