One of the hardest days I faced while Amy was in China was February 9, 2005. She had emailed us from Thailand where she was attending the ELIC Annual Conference, and said that she had been thinking a lot about “next year” and wanted us to know there were three openings in the university teaching program at Jingzhou where she had done her summer work. I was not surprised that she was seriously considering a second year in China. However, my emotions got the best of me that day and it was one of the “weepiest” days I had the entire time she was gone. I can look back and laugh now, but it was a hard day. I worked at the church for a while and then decided to go to the mall. I didn’t want to talk to anyone and I didn’t want to be home alone. My car got splattered by some messy concrete water that was spewing from some road construction as I drove to the mall and when I came out of the mall I could not find my car. I thought surely it had been stolen! It took several minutes before I located it – right where I had parked it! I got in the car and cried. I turned my CD player on – probably as loud as it would go, because this was a tendency I had when I was hurting. A MercyMe song came on loud and clear – God’s message to me for the moment.
Another rainy day – I can’t recall having sunshine on my face
And all I feel is pain and all I wanna do is walk out of this place.
But when I am stuck and I can’t move
When I don’t know what I should do
When I wonder if I’ll ever make it through
I gotta keep singing, I gotta keep praising Your Name
You’re the One that’s keeping my heart beating.
I gotta keep singing. I gotta keep praising Your Name
That’s the only way that I find healing.
And can I climb up in Your lap –
I don’t wanna leave. Jesus sing over me.
I don’t want leave. Jesus sing over me.
You’re everything I need. Oh, I gotta keep singing.
Oh, that was just what I needed: a reminder to focus on God. Not my circumstances, not my feelings, but Him and Him alone.
I later learned a verse from Zephaniah 3:17 that perhaps was the idea for this song: “The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing.”
How precious God was to minister to me that day! He showed me that He is the One I have to go to for strength, comfort, and peace. He is everything I need for any situation.
