Hospitality in the Real World

If you weren't able to make it to the Treasures of the Heart & Home event last Friday, or if you just forgot to pick up a handout, here are a couple of the handouts that were given.

A Helping of Hospitality with a Smidgen of Space

From Ham Sandwiches to Cordon Blue: Taking Hospitality to the Next Level

Humility and Hospitality

By Kimberly C.


Many people have told me I am a hospitable person. I guess one can get prideful in these affirmations and think that we have it down and don't need to improve, but this recent season of moving and baby-having has taught me I have a lot of room to grow in this discipline (and it is a discipline).

The famed Merriam-Webster defines hospitality as: given to a cordial or generous reception of guests. And as one growing up in the South, I often think of hospitality as decorating your table nicely for a meal and baking something scrumptious. Neither of these definitions really hit at the heart of what I think true, biblical, gospel-driven hospitality is.

How I would define gospel-driven hospitality is this: a Christ-like attitude that welcomes ALL others as Christ would welcome them - no matter your location, cooking skill, or budget.

Let me give you a biblical example, then a personal example, and end with some take-home points:

BIBLICAL EXAMPLE: David and Mephibosheth. Mephibo-who? Take a few minutes to read it: 2 Samuel 9 (I'll wait...) Here is my KDC version: David was King. He could do anything he wanted with whomever he wanted. His feasts were one-of-a-kind. Mephibosheth was related to King Saul. David had every right to extinguish Mephibosheth or at least not be kind to him. What did David do instead? He invited him to sit down at HIS table and DINE on HIS food. He literally was hospitable to a potential enemy. David showed grace where grace was not demanded. This is one of my most favorite Bible stories.

PERSONAL EXAMPLE: I was talking with Eric while we still lived in Durham and we were talking about who we wanted to come see baby Elijah. I wasn't feeling up to having many visitors but I would say things like: "But, I don't want them to come over.", or "Well, of course they can come and stay as long as they want; they are my friends." I only really wanted people around me who were my friends. I obviously wasn't desirous of hanging out with people with whom I wasn't close. I heard those sentences come out of my mouth and I froze...I wasn't being hospitable. Hospitality demands us to be impartial. Christ doesn't show partiality. We need to extend grace to whomever we can.

How does this connect with humility? In my personal example, it came down to pride. I thought I was better than those people I didn't know. Humility requires that I think of myself less. If the Holy Spirit was working humility in me, then I would be more than willing to have anyone in my home (friend or stranger) and would talk more about them and serve them than I would want to talk about myself.

So, some take-aways:

1. Ask the Spirit to put people in your life to whom you can intentionally show hospitality. He will work! He wants to work Christ-likeness in you. Be prepared.
2. Ask the Spirit to work humility in you, as well. This will come as an even bigger shock, but God is humble and we are called to be like Him. Christ served us when He came to earth. He was hospitality and humility in the flesh.

As the Spirit continues to shape your heart to look like His, consider this practice of humility and hospitality.

Hospitality and Brownies (Part 3)

By Caitlin D. 

This is part 3 of a 3-part series. Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

You know how Scripture pops into your mind when you're praying sometimes? As soon as I asked Him, "What do you want me to do?" I suddenly remembered Micah 6:8 "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"

At last, I think I'm beginning to see. Wherever you are, whatever you have, you can serve the Lord. The point is to do what you can to serve Him, and live only for His glory. Whether He calls me to a pampered life in the States or not, I can use what He gives me. Everything is for His glory. Whatever I do, I can do for Him. I'm not going to miss His will for my life if I truly want to live for His glory. He won't let me out of His will. There's no way that I can live for Christ and find myself in a cage living a wasted life. That's not what He wants for me. And He isn't reproaching me now for the life I've lived...I think He's giving me a new perspective. I still don't know what He wants me to do with my life, or in what areas He wants me to serve; I still feel kind of like I'm spinning in mid-air after all that I've seen today, but I feel certain now that He'll show me what He wants me to do.

I tried to explain some of this to S. I'm not sure how much she could make out from my confused words, but pretty soon we begin talking about household matters, and I'm reminded that I offered to help her make some brownies for the company that's coming over tomorrow night. I re-offer and head into the kitchen. She shows me a recipe, and I take over.

A curious enthusiasm awakes in me. I'm so glad to have something tangible to do with my hands! I've felt so awfully helpless all afternoon, and now I can do something to serve!

And then with this new perspective, the world around me falls into recognizable order. I'm no longer spinning; I know where I am, what I'm doing, and why. Joy and thankfulness bubble up inside me as I realize that perhaps as I was crying out to God, "What do you want me to do?" His answer to me was (with a smile): "Go and make those brownies!"

God is pleased with everything that is done for His glory, even if they are things we think are mundane or unimportant like mopping the floor, cleaning up trash, or changing a baby's diaper. When done with a joyful attitude of service, we can perform the smallest chore for God's greater glory. Of course, to say that God's answer to me was to make a pan of brownies is a bit of an oversimplification. There is no easy answer to that, but He doesn't answer that kind of question all at once. What His answer seemed to be was, "Just start serving, and I'll show you where to go."

If ever brownies were made for the glory of God, those brownies I made that night were. They were chewy and irresistible, and D. and I and a few of the kids made sure none of the batter went to waste. I even put in my special multicolored sprinkles that I'd brought from home. But equally sweet was the new, fresh perspective God gave me that day. Through hospitality and brownies.

Hospitality and Brownies (Part 2)

By Caitlin D. 

This is part 2 of a 3-part series. Read Part 1 here.

After the study, a certain lady invites us to her home, and we go. Like many other ladies, she asks S. if I am her sister. Apparently they think we look alike. S. laughs and explains that I am her friend from her country. This lady looks at me, and her eyes are positively glowing. She lays her hand on my shoulder and she says that she feels she loves me already and that she is so, so glad that I am here.

I'm grateful, but I feel like an imposter.

She has us come into her house, and S. begins to show me around. I step into the doorway of a mud house. Inside it's as black as night. I stand inside and know that I'll never forget this. It's a house built of mud. There are no windows. S. shows me a circle of burnt wood, and she explains that that is where she cooks her meals. I feel my stomach tighten inside me.

Beyond is a slightly larger room, where she sleeps with all of her children, and that's all there is to the house. She then takes us outside, where she has a wooden bench next to a table, and there's a colored canopy spread over it. On the table is a tiny sewing machine, and S. explains to me that that is how she earns the money she and her children live on. She tells us to be seated, and so we sit. She wants to serve us some food, which is the height of hospitality in India, I'm told.

A surge of emotion wells up inside me as she leaves to bring it to us. This is hospitality at its peak. This woman has so little, and yet she earnestly wants to share and make us her guests. She brings us out some roasted corn, and two little glass bottles of Mountain Dew. Wait, she's bought us Mountain Dew??

"Oh Lord, protect my stomach, please," I hear S. say with a grin. I pray the same thing. All these flies are buzzing around us, and I'm trying my best not to flinch too obviously like a spoiled Westerner.

S. digs right in, and I follow her example. I have never seen true hospitality until today. I have never seen it so self-sacrificing and so happily given. I look into this lady's shining eyes, and I feel such shame and disgust at myself that it's working its way into a sick feeling inside me. I'm trying to keep it down so that I don't begin weeping right now in front of her.

After we finish eating and drinking, S. visits with her, and after a farewell, we drive back home.

The house is quiet, and even though I'm not tired, all I can do is lie down. I'm overwhelmed by what I have just seen, and yet I can put no words to my emotions. I have to sort myself out.

I think about this afternoon. The hungry hearts, the mud house, the stark poverty, the lifestyle of toil and hardship. Then I see her eyes, shining with joy and love. I think of her words to S: "Didi, I need nothing! I have everything in Christ!"

I close my eyes and feel a struggle forming within me. What I have just seen is the polar opposite of the only lifestyle I have ever known. Of course I've read about things like this. Of course I've heard about them from missionaries that come to our church. I've even seen the movie, "Slumdog Millionaire," a powerful movie about a boy who was born in the slums of India. But actually seeing this kind of poverty with my own eyes has almost unmade me.

At least that's how I feel now. Unmade.

Nothing can ever be the same again. What I have just seen demands a response from me. But what kind of response? I have no idea.

I'm smote inside with guilt at the pampered life I've led. But God gave me those things, so they weren't sin for me to have. I probe deeper into my heart. I'm aware of a frantic fear that I'm trying to control, but what is it?

What I find myself praying is, "Oh, Lord! What do you want me to do? What ever can I do? Just tell me...what must I do?"

Then I understand. I realize that I must never forget what I have seen, but I don't know how to live my life in the right response of it. What does He want me to do? I'm suddenly aware of how He owns my life and how He can demand anything of me. I'm afraid because I want to obey, but what will He ask of me?

Hospitality and Brownies (Part 1)

By Caitlin D.

Some weeks ago, S. asked me to go with her as she led her ladies' Bible study in the village, and I accepted.

As we drove, she began to tell me about the living conditions in the village. The houses are often made of dirt, and when the heavy rains come, sometimes the houses fall in on top of them. The water that they use is pumped by hand from the underground streams that branch off from the Ganges River.

I listen to her as she describes all this, and I think about my comfortable home in the States. I think of my cushy lifestyle, and of how easy it is to be a Christian in my part of the world. Shame and uneasiness begin to creep over me like a dark cloud. But I kept a cheerful face and resolved to play it by ear and simply do my best.

We come to a little house and women and children gather around S. She begins to talk merrily with them, and when she introduces me, they all smile.

We all sit down, and she begins a song. They all join in and they clap their hands in a lively rhythm. I don't know the song, but I clap along enthusiastically. I hear everyone singing, as we say in the States, "with gusto." (May I just say right here that any Christian who refuses to let his voice be heard because he or she "doesn't have a good voice," would do well to visit another country and see how eager everyone in the tiny churches are to praise the Lord together, whether or not they "can sing." It does a heart good to hear wholehearted, unpretentious singing!)

S. begins to teach, and absolute silence falls. I watch the faces of the women and children. Their eyes are riveted on her face. Some of them are actually leaning forward a little, intent on catching every word. The children are crowded round the door, and they too are absolutely spellbound. I look at the pictures that S. holds up, and I watch her gesture with her hands. I listen to the tone of her voice, and I find I can follow along a little. What strikes me most is S's face. She is radiant. Her eyes glow from their very deepest depths, and I can hear love and joy and delight spilling out in every word she utters. She is placing a spiritual feast before a group of starving sisters. This is what she does. She left her comfy life in the States so that she could be like Christ, serving the "least of these."

I look deeply into her eyes, and I feel passion stirring up my soul. I want to serve like that. I want to live a life that is useful to Christ. I want to help others in my life, just like her. I want that kind of joy, and as I look at the faces of these needy hurting hearts, I say in my heart, "Oh, Lord, please make me useful to You! Let me live a life that helps others, so that I can further Your kingdom!"

Practicing Hospitality (Part 2)

By Lori H.

When I was growing up, there was a family who had a New Year’s Eve party every year. Their home was open to everyone – even the kids. It was wonderful! It is one of my favorite memories. It made me feel special and gave us something to look forward to, so we have done the same thing. Every year we have a New Year’s Eve party – everyone is included, even the kids – especially the kids! It is always fun and laid back. I want everyone to feel at home and welcome. I want to create those memories for my children and their friends. I want people to feel at home in my home. Mi casa es su casa. I love that saying: my house is your house. Seriously, ladies, put it on your calendars: New Year’s Eve party at our home. Bring an appetizer or dessert to share, 7 pm to whenever. Bring the whole family, especially the kids.

Here’s another example: I went home with a friend once to help her with her children on the trip. I will never forget how welcome her parents made me feel. Her mom had made us these little welcome baskets filled with lotion, candy, and goodies and placed them on our beds. What an impression that made on me! What an example! Little details like that showed us we were loved, thought of, and prepared for.

Another friend in Northwest Arkansas always opens her home when we need a place to stay. It is usually for a soccer tournament or a Razorback game, but she opens her home up to my whole family – all 8 of us! She cooks for us and includes us in whatever is going on in their lives. She makes us snacks to take to the field, takes time with my children, and loves each of us separately and as a whole. What an example of hospitality she is to me!

Listen to Romans 12:13 : “Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.” This is a mark of the true Christian.

Did you know that hospitality is required in ministers and elders?

I Timothy 3:2 “Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober minded, self controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach…”

And again in Titus 1:8: “but hospitable, a lover of good, self controlled, upright, holy and disciplined.”

Even in widows it is required: (I Timothy 5:10) “And having a reputation for good works, if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work.”

Ladies, we can do this. Make hospitality a part of your life. Be known for it. Don’t wait until you have time, money, or a beautiful home. Invite them in. Be kind to strangers, guests, friends, and family. Love them as Jesus would.

When we were first married, we lived in a trailer. It was not big, but we had people in. We sat on the floor when we ran out of seats. We shared what we had. I wanted to be like my mom, like these other women I had watched all my life. Now my home is a bit bigger, but my life is a whole lot crazier, and my house is really never clean. I have 6 kids. Our schedules are crazy. I have to make it a priority to invite folks over. I may have to make a few phone calls and ask for rides to and from practices for kids, because it is important to open my home to others. Let people see that they are important and you are not too busy for them.

Get your kids involved in this (What a great training opportunity!). Teach them to clean, cook and serve. Get your husbands involved. If you are single, ask another friend or two to join you. But love on others, have them in your homes, and make them feel special, loved, and important. Be a vessel for Jesus’ love.

There are several friends who I know make it a point to have a meal in their home a couple of times a month and invite folks they don’t know very well. What an example this is to me; what a ministry to others; what a way to build relationships!

Here are a few excerpts from the book Silent Witness by Georg Andersen:

“No matter what the size of one’s home, it can and should be a welcoming place. Whether a cottage or a mansion, if loving hearts live there, it will show in the family pictures, the old loved books, and the bits and pieces of treasures accumulated through the years….” Ruth Graham (p. xi)

“It has been often said that ‘home is where the heart is.’ Perhaps the better statement is that ‘home reveals where the heart is.’”…. Steve Schall (p. xi)

“Hospitality – eagerly sharing the resources of my home to benefit others” (p.69)

“Nevertheless, these physical components and the thoughts behind them say a lot about the occupants and their activities. Naturally, our homes don’t speak with words per se, but they subtly reveal so much: interests and priorities…the place God has in our lives…our concerns for others…the value that we put on our families…how we spend our time. Thus, our homes become ‘silent witnesses’ to the multifaceted work of God in our lives. St. Francis of Assisi succinctly immortalized this concept: ‘Preach the gospel everywhere; when necessary, use words.’ Words of silent witness are vitally important, for they affect – by either helping or hindering – our work and influence for the Lord.” (p.4)

“Hospitality has a worthy ally in Gentleness. Gentleness is the display of tender care and concern in reaching out to others. What distinguishes a house from a home? All houses have walls and floors, but Gentleness sparks a nurturing and warm atmosphere. Who doesn’t want to come to a home that provides a comfortable refuge?” (p.75)

Let’s practice hospitality, ladies.

Be known as having an open home to friends, families, and even strangers. Hebrew 13:2 says, “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”

Love people where they are. Love the tired mama of little children who needs some adult conversation; love on the lonely; love on the crazy mom of 6 (Me!); love on the newlyweds, the college students, the youth, the guests, the singles, the older couples…everyone needs it.

Be the vessel God uses to encourage someone else and I promise you this: as you pour yourselves into others, you will find that you are the one encouraged, loved, and blessed.

God commands us to be hospitable.

Are you practicing hospitality?

See you on New Years Eve!!!

Practicing Hospitality (Part 1)

By Lori H.

Let me start off with a question: “Are you practicing hospitality?”

Webster defines hospitality as “generous and kindly treatment of guests.”

We live in the south, ladies – so it should be easy for us, right? We are known for southern hospitality. Do we treat guests and even strangers kindly? We (well, most of us) talk with a slow southern drawl and can say “bless her heart” about everything, but are we truly being hospitable?

I love parties. I love the planning. I love the chaos. I love the preparation. I love working with others. I love the relationships I have made serving with others. You really get to know someone when you work with them. And most of the time I even enjoy the stress of trying to get it all done. My motto is “what really has to get done will get done.” I love making things special for others. This is just how God wired me and I know we are not all wired the same way.

But the question is, “What does God think about hospitality?” The Bible is full of examples of hospitality – with feasts and celebrations, with entertaining strangers, and with taking care of the needs of others. But did you know that hospitality is commanded?

I Peter 4:9 says, “Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.” Wow, that is pretty straight forward! We are to be stewards of God’s grace, and we are not to complain while doing it.

As a young girl, I watched my mom open our house up over the years to friends, family, missionaries, pastors, and even strangers. She would invite people visiting the church over, and share a meal with them. She would include them as a part of our family. People were always at our house, because she made them feel welcome. I had a wonderful example to watch, to train me, and to emulate. Even when she made mistakes and forgot to turn on the oven, made egg drop ice cream, or burned something, people felt included and a part of the family, and laughed with us. Seriously though, most of the time things ran smoothly and that is because she planned well and always had something ready. As kids, she would always let our friends come over. I thought it was cool and wonderful (and it was), but now I see it was also a tool she was using to get to know my friends and to make sure we were all behaving. We must have created a ton of extra work for her, but she never complained and was always welcoming. I want to be like that. I want to know my kids’ friends and for them to know they are always welcome in our home.

What is the difference between hospitality and entertaining? I read this on a blog and it is so true: “when you entertain, you bring honor and glory to yourself… Showing hospitality brings honor and glory to God.” Don’t get me wrong; it isn’t so much about what you do but about your heart attitude behind it. You can host a lovely dinner that is planned down to the last detail or you can throw something together at the last minute. Either one will work. Just be sure your focus is on bringing glory to God through honoring your guests. Make them feel at home and a part of your family.

Using Our Homes for Hospitality

Below is the outline from Gail H.'s recent Wise Women segment on "Using Our Homes for Hospitality"

1. Reflect on the Biblical definition of hospitality.
   
   • Entertains strangers
     
   • Fond of guests
     
   • Hospitable/friendly


2. Remind yourself that all are to be involved in showing hospitality.
   
   • Laymen
     Romans 12:13 “contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.”
     
     I Peter 4:8-9 “Above all keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaint.”
   
   
   • Leaders
     I Timothy 3:2 “An overseer, then must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach.”
     
     Titus 1:8 “but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, just, devout, self
     controlled.”


3. Regard former saints who have modeled hospitality.
   
   • Old Testament examples
     
     1. Abraham (Genesis 18:1-8)
        
     2. Lot (Genesis 19:1-3)
        
     3. The Proverbs 31 Woman (Proverbs 31:23)
   
   
   • New Testament examples
     
     1. Mary & Martha (Luke 10:40-41; John 12:1-3)
        
     2. Zaccheaus (Luke 19:1-10)
        
     3. Lydia (Acts 16: 14-15; 40)
   
   


4. Reject common excuses that preempt hospitality.
   
   • “My home/apartment is too small.”
     
   • “That’s not my gift. Someone else can do it.”
     
   • “I am single.”
     
   • “I don’t have much money or fine dishes.”
     
   • “Everything is not in perfect order.”
     
   • “Everything is in perfect order and they’ll mess it up.”
     
   • “I’m afraid.”


5. Resolve to be hospitable.
   
   • Intentionally plan strategic hospitality. (Seek your husband’s direction.)
     
   • Make a simple meal and decorate a simple but pretty table.
     
   • Be ready and willing to offer hospitality unexpectedly.
     
   • Look for ways to make it a time of true Kononia instead of a social event.
     


6. Rejoice in the reward of extending hospitality.
   
   • Realize personal pleasure in loving others. (Proverbs 31:18a)
     
   • Recognize your service in reaching the lost. (John 13:35)
     
   • Return glory to God for the commendation received. (Proverbs 31:23;29-30)