Now, you can't discuss listening attentively without addressing being slow to speak. The two go hand in hand.
The Bible is replete
with injunctions to think before we speak.- Psalm 141:3
- Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.
- Proverbs 18:7
- A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are the snare of his soul.
- Proverbs 10:19 - When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable,
But he who restrains his lips is wise.
- Proverbs 21:23 - He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from troubles.
- Proverbs 17:28 - Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is considered prudent.
There are many, many more. Since God found it necessary to instruct us regarding the use of our tongue, it's obviously a problem. He doesn't leave us without the means of rectifying it, though (at least as much as we can on our earthly pilgrimage). All we have to do is ask Him. David implores the Lord in Psalm 51: "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." Psalm 19:14 says, "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer." Second Corinthians 10:4-5 remind us that it's not only our own sinful flesh we're fighting but a mighty adversary: "For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ."
So, knowing all of the above, why do Christians speak so much? And it's not just a female problem! Men can be just as loquacious! Many of us speak to fill what we perceive as an awkward silence. Sometimes nervousness can cause excessive chatter. However, I think one of the main reasons for speaking too much and not listening to others is pride. We simply think that what we have to say is more important than what anyone else is saying. If we're in a group setting, we grow irritated if we don't have the opportunity to express our opinion on something. That is the source for a lot of interruptions. The desire to be heard over-rides any consideration of common courtesy.
We live in a very "touchy-feely" society - one in which we're all encouraged to express ourselves and emote! A product of that kind of environment is conversations with way too many personal details. Have you noticed how much information even comparative strangers will give about themselves, their parents, their husbands, kids, etc.? When sitting with a group of friends, we can really reveal way too much. Our rule for speaking about our close family should be the same as the one for speaking about others - if we wouldn't make certain remarks when the subject of those remarks is present, then we shouldn't make them when the subject is not. It doesn't automatically cease to be gossip just because we're speaking about a family member.
