By Kim W.
I recently purchased the workbook Overcoming Perfectionism by Amy Baker to go through myself as a summer project. I have known for quite some time that the sin of perfectionism was one I struggle with often. This book is a study guide that asks questions, gives lists, and points to Scripture as the sufficient answer to this attitude of sin that can secretly be harboring in a woman's (or man's) heart. I had no idea how deeply rooted this sin was in my own heart, and some of you may struggle with it as well.
As a young girl, I can remember having feelings of not being good enough... not so much in God's eyes, but in the eyes of other people. I struggled with desiring things, accomplishments, and productivity to validate myself. This weakness in my heart set my sinful nature into a battle of striving for perfection by the world's standards. I wanted to be the best at things, and when I wasn't, I felt devastated and like a failure. When I became a Christian, I knew I had sinned and needed a loving Savior. I wanted to live for Him, but because at this time in my life I did not actually know and see all of my sinful habits, seeking perfectionism still continued on in my heart.
Fast forward to my adult life...I began studying God's Word more and more. As I did, God so graciously showed me how much pride and perfectionism had affected my life. I could give many examples of how this played out in my life, but the reality is that perfectionism can look very different for different people: it could show itself by expecting children to behave perfectly, by demanding and working towards a perfectly clean house all the time, or even by desiring to appear "perfect" spiritually. The list could go on and on. It all comes down to a prideful heart that desires to appear a certain way before men, with little regard to what God thinks.
Amy Baker's workbook is so helpful in revealing our hearts and motives while lining everything up with Scripture. It is a very practical help for those of us who have realized we need God's guidance on how to deal with these attitudes and actions Biblically.
To see if you are dealing with this sin, here are some ways Dr. Baker describes a perfectionist in her book:
- This person may always appear very well put together--disciplined, neat, orderly, and thorough...but they can place excessive demands on time and energy for things which may matter little in eternity.
- They create extra-Biblical standards for themselves and others, which they insist must be met.
- They believe they can never please God.
- They view themselves in terms of accomplishments and productivity.
- When they fail, they are devastated because they failed - not because God is grieved, but more because they are worried about what others may think of them.
- Perfectionists are not willing to be beginners.
- There is continual nagging self doubt and regret over lost opportunities and perceived failures.
- They mentally review everything said or done in relationships with others looking for a flaw (in themselves).
- They get very upset if they make a mistake.
- Perfectionists are motivated, not by a desire to please God, but by the fear of failure.
Thankfully, God has given us everything we need through His Word to remedy our sinful hearts! Through this study by Amy Baker, we can see God's true concerns for us...and it is not our perfection.
God is most concerned about:
- Our continual growth towards holiness...this helped me a lot. We are always growing and perfection is not attained on this earth. The wonderful thing about this is God is growing us as we strive to please Him, not others.
- A repentant heart that is willing to say that yes, we are flawed, and we need Christ's perfection to satisfy God's heart toward us. We must be willing to honestly see and admit our failures, so that we can rely on Christ and His perfect sacrifice on the cross. But we cannot just admit we have failed; we must repent and turn from our sin in response to our love for Christ.
- A broken and contrite heart desiring to please God alone
- Our obedience to His Word and our integrity before God
